Bass Masters, Insomnia and Oxycodone!
Well, its day three since the shoulder surgery. At last count I have slept maybe 6 hours since I woke up
after surgery on Wednesday.
Not sure why I am reacting this way to meds, but the fun part of the fabled "Oxy" buzz we hear so much
about is long over and now I am just down right giving myself the creeps.
Last night when I finally thought I could get a couple winks in around midnight, I immediately got the bed
spins and then fell into a semi sleep / hallucinatory state where I think I had portaled my self into one of the
worst all time low budget horror flicks from the 1970’s , "Let's Scare Jessica to Death," that my wife and
I had watched a couple weeks ago. My nightmare was much scarier than the actual movie and involved me
being chased by Sony Bono and Robert Goulet whom had whisked me off to an abandoned farm in the
Catskills where they dressed me up in a mini skirt with high black gogo boots and made me stand on a
coffee table and repeatedly sing and dance "These boots were made for walking" by Nancy Sinatra.
It was awful.
The shear terror propelled me out of the nether world and back to an all nighter with the remote,
that concluded with the sequel to Saturday Night Fever, " Stayin’ Alive", now I know why
John Travolta was virtually invisible for the next ten years, wow, what a career wrecker that film was.
Anyhow, I had the 7 am kickoff of fishing shows to now look forward to.
If you were not aware, the 2008 Bass Masters kicked off yesterday and ESPN is there to capture all the glory.
The leader board looked like this at the end of yesterday, with New Jerseys own at the forefront. Go Mike!
Michael Iaconelli: 22 pounds
Scott Rook: 21 pounds, 10 ounces
Charlie Hartley: 20 pounds, 3 ounces
Terry Scroggins: 18 pounds
Kevin VanDam: 17 pounds, 8 ounces
Cliff Pace: 17 pounds
Alton Jones: 15 pounds, 6 ounces
Aaron Martens: 15 pounds, 2 ounces
Kotaro Kiriyama: 14 pounds, 8 ounces
Kelly Jordon: 14 pounds, 8 ounces
Dave Wolak: 14 pounds, 8 ounces
Then something occurred to me!
Who gives a shit!
The bass masters is truly where life imitates art if you consider Will Farrell movies ( that I love) art.
You heard it here first but 5 will get you 10 that sooner or later there will be a movie parodying the
"Bass Masters" counter culture, and it will star Will Farrell and Ben Stiller or any of the shameless
comedians from that genre’ that I have grown to admire and respect.
Lets ask a question to the programming guys at all the outdoorsy TV stations.
What the fuck?
I get it your in the business of selling advertising. I can respect that. The Bass guys spend big bucks,
as do the offshore anglers and the Hunters, but whats happening to fly fishing on TV?
Every week I get to watch Chris and Melissa Fischer and their awesome life and chef living the dream,
however, its very clear they really are into to snorkeling and spear fishing. I mean how much of the crap
is really selling in the outdoors market? Yes, Melissa is cute and a good sport, but she’s not that hot to keep
the show running all these years, I just don’t get it.
So back to fly fishing shows. There has been no shortage of them, but there has definitely been a
downward trend towards regular programming. A new show comes on; its great, and then you never see it again.
Now there is a trend of E Zines and Fly Fishing videos on the net. They are great, but the reality is,
I want to sit in my lazy boy and watch it on TV.
So here it is, Fly Fishing advertisers, help me, please!
Pick a show any show, sponsor it, lock in a time and count your money.
Sure fly fisherman are fickle, but we are still in the big picture just as vulnerable to the secret brain waves broadcast
through TV advertising.
Please, please, please save Saturday and Sunday morning.
Hey I have to go, the gang from Laugh In are at the front door and we are all going to Denny’s for breakfast,
and I need to snort another Vicodin.
Ralph
A few small chuckles, still off your game...........
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These boot's are made for walkin' and thats just what they,ll do. And one of these day's ESPN will put some more Fly Fishing show's on too!
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